True Southerner
Only a true Southerner knows what "catywompus" means.
Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a conniption and a
hissie fit and knows that you "HAVE" one and "PITCH" the other.
Only a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens,
peas, beans, etc. make up "a mess".
Only a true Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction
of "yonder. "
Only a true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in: "Going
to town, be back directly. "
Even true Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for
the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl on the
middle of the table.
All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use
the term, but they know the concept well.
Only a true Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace
for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big
bowl of cold potato salad. (If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they
also know to add a large banana puddin'! )
Only true Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near"
and "a right far piece. " They also know that "just down the road" can be 1
mile or 20.
Only a true Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a
redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn
signal is actually going to make a turn.
A true Southerner knows that "fixin'" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an
adverb.
Only a true Southerner knows that the term "booger" can be a resident of
the nose, a descriptive, as in "that ol' booger", or something that jumps
out at you in the dark and scares you senseless.
Only true Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do
"queues", we do "lines"; and when we're "in line", we talk to everybody!
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