Out of the Mouth of Babes:
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While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was
interrupted by a little girl about six years old. Looking up and down at my
uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued writing the
report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that
right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then," she said as she extended
her foot toward me,"would you please tie my shoe?"
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POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station.
As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a
little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It
sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of
the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"
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ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I
used to take my four-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was
unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the
canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false
teeth soaking in a glass. As braced myself for the inevitable barrage of
questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe
this!"
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DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad
donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why
not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you headache next morning."
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DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the
intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his
five-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper
burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting,
then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's
son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned
his version of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the
Faaaather. .and unto the Sonnn . ......and into the hole he gooooes."
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SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my
time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write - and they won't let
me talk!"
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BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered
through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up
the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed
in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy called out. "What have
you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered,
"I think it's Adam's underwear!"
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