This here is the Redneck Guide to Computer Lingo.
Log on
Makin the woodstove hotter
Log off
Don't add no more wood
Monitor
Keepin an eye on that there woodstove
Download
Gettin the farwood ofn the truk
Megahertz
When yer not keerful gettin that farwood downloaded
Floppy disk
Wharcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood
RAM
That thar thang whut splits th farwood
ROM
Whut tastes grait when ya mix it with Coca-cola
Hard drive
Tryin to climb a steep hill in th winter taim
Prompt
Whut th mail ain't in th winter taim
Windows
Whut to shut when its cold outside
Screen
Whut to shut when its blak fly season
Bit
A wager, as in "I bit you cain't spit that watermelon seed across th porch
longways"
Byte
Whut them dang flys do
Chip
Munchies fer th TV
Microchip
Whuts left in th munchie bag
Cursor
Wharcha do when yer mad at yer sister
Infrared
Whur th left over munchies go, Fred eats em
Modem
Wharcha did to the hay fields
Dot matrix
Ol Dan Matrix's wife
Laptop
Whur th kitty sleeps
Keyboard
Whur ya hang th dang keys
Hardware
Sunday clothes
Software
Them dang plastik forks and knifs
Mouse
Whut eats th grain in th barn
Mainframe
Holds up th barn ruf
Port
Fancy Flatlander Wine
Enter
Northern fer c'mon in y'all
Random access memory
When ya caint member whut ya paid for yer new rifle when yore wife asks.
Network
How ya git the fish in th boat after ya hook it
LAN
To borrow, as in "Hey Delbert, LAN me yore truck!"
Packet
Wharcha do to a suitcase or Wal-Mart bag afore a trip
Reboot
Wharcha do when yer first pair a boots gits all muddy
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