Church Bulletin Bloopers

• Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help.
• Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
• Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
• For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
• This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
• Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social.. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
• This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the alter.
• The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
• Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and do so.
• The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.
• A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
• The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
• Ushers will eat late comers.
• The Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
• Evening massage - 6 p.m.
• The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
• The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.
• Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.
• The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.
• On a church bulletin during the minister's illness: GOD IS GOOD Dr. Hargreaves is better.
• Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.
• The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
• The 1997 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
• Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
• 22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.
• A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.
• Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
• The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
• Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in preparing for the girth of their first child.
• Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
• The associate minister unveiled the church's new giving campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge--Up Yours."
• 8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
• The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
• The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."
• During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J. F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
• Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."
• Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
• Stewardship Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All"
• The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.
• The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

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