Three Principles of
Discipleship (Part 1)
Matthew 28
18 And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, "All
authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth.
19 "Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations,
baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,
20 "teaching them to observe all things that I have
commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age."
Amen.
We know this as the ‘Great Commission’. This is also
the greatest failure in the church. Without discipleship, believers do not
understand how to live their faith. It is common to see the great evangelistic
effort, but where is discipleship? A disciple is more than a convert and our
call goes far beyond baptism. I was not discipled and I struggled to make sense
of it all. I fell far away from God and no one reached out or even seemed to
care. I didn’t know how to pray. I had no concept that God could use me much
less did I think that there was a plan for my life. I did not know that feelings
would not be my guide. When the feeling faded, I thought God had rejected me. I
tried to pursue emotions, instead of a relationship with God. Why did problems
come? Why didn’t God protect me? When I asked God to bless my self-focused
desires, why didn’t He honor my prayer? Why don’t I know God’s will for my
life?
I could write pages on the common questions that almost all
new Christians ask. Unfortunately, the church has left its members to figure
these out on their own. Because of this, many give up on Christianity, become
calloused and complacent, or get swept away by those who teach error. In most
churches, people make a profession of faith; they are congratulated, put on a
role and forgotten. The church that seemed so loving and welcoming when I was a
prospect, now has left me isolated in the middle of the crowd. Discipleship is
not seeking converts, but bringing people into an intimate relationship with
God. This begins with a conversion or surrendering ourselves to Jesus Christ.
But this is only the beginning. Jesus is the author and finisher of our faith.
Surrender is where Jesus ‘authors’ our faith, discipleship points people to
the finish line and teaches them how to run the race according to God’s
purposes. In His purposes we find joy and fulfillment. There are three
principles in discipleship – Relationships, Teaching, and Mentorship for Service.
1. Relationship
Of these three, the relationship is the most critical today. This is not
because it is the most important, but it is the most neglected. For this reason,
this message will put a lot of focus on this point. Most people are intimidated
by discipleship. The word ‘discipleship’ has been elevated to a practice for
the spiritually mature. People usually think of the ‘Timothy Principle’
where an elder Christian takes an immature Christian under his wing and makes
him into a fellow minister. Although mentoring is one aspect of discipleship,
that is not the only aspect of discipleship.
Friendship.
Discipleship = friendship with a Christ centered focus. We are all called to
be disciplers. We are not called to become spiritual giants and then become
disciplers. Anyone can be a friend.
The problem with most people is that they feel insecure when it comes to
reaching out. That is a flaw in our human nature. Everyone sits in the crowd and
expects someone else to reach out to them. When no one reaches out, they feel
lonely and isolated. The person beside them feels exactly the same way. Though
people with introverted personalities struggle more with this, even charismatic
people have this problem. They can be fun loving and handshaking, but still
never get beyond the surface of a smile. We can easily be surrounded by smiling
faces and touched by no one. You can touch someone’s hand with a warm
handshake but that does not ever get beyond the surface and into the need.
A good illustration of this was a couple in a church I once
attended. There was a couple that was so loving, kind, and energetic. I
considered them to be one of the nucleus members of the church. They attended
home Bible studies and knew all the members. What seemed sudden to us was
actually a slow growing problem with them. They quit coming and we soon found
out they were visiting other churches. That is not uncommon, but the reason has
always stuck with me. She said that the reason they were leaving was because she
felt lonely. She didn’t know anyone, didn’t have any friends and felt alone.
Wow! How could one of the life-blood member of our group say she was alone and
friendless? The reason is that there was no discipleship. No one ever got beyond
the surface and into her life.
The number one reason that people leave their church is
they have no real relationships. People come into a congregation; they feel
accepted and welcomed so they join. They may be respected and well liked, but
because discipleship never gets beyond a Sunday morning handshake, they begin to
feel isolated. Church becomes a routine instead of a hunger. People then go to
church out of a feeling of obligation to God, not because we have a true love
for God’s people. When we get to this point, we are only one disappointment
away from giving up. We all need something more than this routine. The reason
why we long for something more is because we were designed for something more.
God did not create any ‘Lone Christians’. God calls us to lift each other
up. There should not be a single person in the church that does not have at
least one friend they meet with in an unstructured environment outside of
church.
Accountability.
Ecclesiastes 4:
9 Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for
their labor.
10 For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe
to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up.
Friendship is the key for accountability. Let me give two
examples of this from my own life. I have a friend that is very active in his
church. I have had three people tell me that he credits me with where he is
spiritually today. It is almost comical to think about, but it really shows what
discipleship is all about. I wasn’t very spiritual during the time we leaved
close to each other and our friendship flourished. At times, I was clueless and
there were times when I regret how I really failed him as a friend and I
wondered why he credits me with anything. Not one time that I can think of did I
ever ‘expound’ the scriptures to him. I can’t remember even talking about
the Bible. We became friends, I invited him to church and we went together every
week. I didn’t nurture him along. I wasn’t his mentor; I was his friend.
The other example is a deacon in the church I was a part of
when I was in my early twenties. He was one of the highlights of church. He had
a lot of charisma and was enjoyable to be with. He went on a planned business
trip for 3 weeks. Almost three months later, I still had not seen him. On the
way to church I drove past his house and saw his car so I pulled in for a quick
visit. My only intention was to say I had missed seeing him. We talked about
little things and as I was leaving he said, “You are the first person from
church that has bothered to contact me these last 3 months”. How can a deacon
go unnoticed? But even if he wasn’t a deacon, there is still no excuse for
anyone to go unnoticed. What a failure of the church. But it happens every week
in churches around the world. The next week he was at church and he continued to
come regularly. He felt touched by a simple 15 minute visit.
These stories aren’t meant to sound boastful. I was
pretty much clueless, but God ordained these circumstances so that I could look
back at this time and see clearly how discipleship works. I did not even intend
to act spiritual; I was just making contact with people I counted as friends.
Today I can look back and learn from my failures and these circumstances. How
many people drifted away that I never even thought about? Or how many times did
I just assume that they were going to another church and it was too late? I have
two success stories, but how many fell through the cracks? My prayer is that
believers would take discipleship as a serious command and none would fall
through. We can’t prevent people from leaving when they refuse to return, but
those people are the exception. Most leave because they feel neglected.
Becoming a Discipler
There are only two types of people who can’t be a discipler – someone
who is not a disciple ( a follower of Christ ) and someone who disobeys God’s
command and refuses to disciple. The Bible says in Proverbs 27:17, “As iron
sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.” That is basic
discipleship in a nutshell. Couple this with the passage from Ecclesiastes we
read earlier and the vision for Biblical discipleship begins to come clear. When
a brother is down, it is our responsibility to come along side and encourage.
When a brother or sister falls, if we have a discipleship friendship, the other
is there to pick them up. If we fall alone, who will pick us up? Anyone can
fall. In fact, the scripture warns us that those who think they stand should
beware or else they will fall (1 Corinthians 10:12). Charles Templeton was once
an evangelist and the friend of Billy Graham. He is now a self-proclaiming
atheist. I don’t know the circumstances around his fall or who tried to help
him, but this serves as an example that even the ‘spiritual giants’ are not
any less vulnerable than the rest of us.
We can’t prevent people from making bad choices. We have
no control over someone’s life and when we try to shape someone, we are
entering into God’s territory. God has called us to be disciplers, not
creators. You can’t disciple someone if you are not a disciple yourself. Jesus
said in John 13: 35, "By this all will know that you are My disciples, if
you have love for one another." You never quit being a disciple. Your love
for your brothers and sisters is evidence of your love for Christ. You can’t
love God and be a disciple of Christ and neglect His command to love each other.
At the center of that love is discipleship. 1 John 3:10 puts it this way, “In
this the children of God and the children of the devil are manifest: Whoever
does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is he who does not love his
brother.”
What does it mean to love my brother? First we have to look
at love. Whenever the Bible commands us to love, it is always Agape –
self-giving, self-sacrificing, outward love. Love that is not based on
receiving, but on giving without requiring a return. We don’t reach out
because we feel comfortable, but because we love the children of God that are
our brothers and sisters in Christ. Can I say that I love God and never have
love for His people? The Bible says no. 1 John 4 asks us, “How can we say we
love God, who we cannot see and not love His children that we have seen?”
Most people fear getting involved because they don’t know
where to start. Proverbs 18:24 tells us, “A man who has friends must himself
be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” I have
found that to be true. When we open up to someone else, they will usually open
up to us. Discipleship is really a partnership. I meet with several men outside
of church. I am not their mentor. Some are more solid believers than I am. The
best discipleship is a mutual friendship and mutual respect. People do not
respond to someone who tries to come into their lives as a mentor. Few people
are in a position to successfully establish the Paul/Timothy relationship.
People will respond to a pastor or someone they think of as a spiritually
experienced elder. But even that can’t replace the friendship/partnership way
of discipling.
Many years ago my wife and I got to know a couple at our
church. We seemed to have a lot in common so we invited them over. The husband
had a real heart for discipleship but his approach was hard to take. We stepped
outside to chat and for the next two hours he tried to disciple me. I can’t
even remember what he talked about because all I could think about was ‘Is
this ever going to end?’ I wasn’t looking for a master student relationship.
I was looking for a friend. I could not wait for that night to end and that
relationship faded away. Even though his intentions were good, he made zero
impact in my life. Even though I was struggling spiritually at the time, I
needed a relationship more than a lecture.
When I meet men for discipleship, it is not a mentorship.
It is a friendship. I learn from them and hope they learn from me. Just starting
a Christ-centered friendship can be like laying a fire on dry wood that causes
our desire for Christ to ignite. I love to discuss the Bible and I really enjoy
being around men who enjoy the same. However, I don’t place anyone below me.
We each stand on the same ground at the same level. Even if we are not at the
same place spiritually, we can still be eye-to-eye in our friendship. Only in
friendship can the walls come down and will we allow ourselves to have the
vulnerability to share our real needs. This
is a hard concept to get across. When someone comes to Christ, people try to
disciple them as a leader instead of as a friend. A person is much more open to
share struggles and ask questions to a friend than with someone on a pedestal.
It is this misconception of mentorship that makes people cower at the idea of
discipleship. Christians believe that they have to achieve a certain level
before they are ready to disciple. But that is not scriptural. Mentorship is not
the same as discipleship, though it is a part of the discipling process.
Mentorship is what Paul did with Timothy. He recognized Timothy’s calling and
spiritual gifts and Paul mentored Timothy to be his replacement so he could give
the ministry away. The mentorship principle of discipleship comes long after God
has used relational discipleship to produced fruit.
Relationship discipleship is the heart blood of the church.
Jesus commanded it. Jesus lived it as our example. Why did everyone –
including the vilest sinner feel like they could approach Jesus? It was because
Jesus humbled Himself. He met their need for acceptance and worth first and out
of that relationship repentance was born. The Bible says, “it is the goodness
of God that leads you to repentance”. Jesus welcomed sinners but His life and
message changed their lives. He welcomed sinners, but He didn’t allow them to
remain sinners. They either became disciples or adversaries.
Our lives should be welcome mats. Though we can’t change
anyone’s life, our life can reflect God’s grace, which does change lives.
Just by simply establishing friendships and getting on the same level as each
other, we can become disciples and disciplers. Paul taught this very principle.
He said, to the Jew, I became a Jew. To the Greek I became Greek. To the weak I
became weak and to the strong I became strong. I became all things to all
people. He compromised the delivery without compromising the message.
Discipleship and lifestyle evangelism are not much different. We get into
people’s lives for the sake of loving them and becoming instruments of God’s
grace. Our focus is on Christ, not on how to disciple.
I worked with a man in ministry who had a real servant’s
heart. I always called him the backbone of our effort. He accepted Christ
shortly after getting out of prison about 3 years ago. Today that man is in
prison again. On the job he was befriended by two guys who were still using
drugs. He dropped out of church and disappeared from the ministry. He got deeper
and deeper into trouble until he found himself back into his old ways and the
same consequences. We can see that relationships work both ways. The world has
no problem reaching out to the church to draw members away. We shouldn’t have
any trouble reaching our own members and reaching the world.
We have to first make the paradigm shift. Basic discipleship means Christian fellowship. That fellowship must extend outside the structured programs of the church. True Christian fellowship should produce friendship, accountability, and praying together. Spiritual maturity levels mean very little, but interest level means a lot. I believe the first step the local church should make is establishing a way to link partners and following up so that this vital discipleship does not fade away. We all have time for one church friendship. If we don’t, that is a symptom of a deeper problem that also needs to be addressed.
Click Here to Read Part 2Eddie Snipes
Exchanged Life Outreach
http://www.exchangedlife.com
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