Understanding Love

The Bible points to love as a key element in the Christian’s life of obedience, and this was alluded to several times when we looked at envy and covetousness. It stands to reason that love is a topic that we need to explore in detail in order to shore up our understanding of God’s instructions. Love is the central theme of the Bible and is used more than four hundred times. It would not be possible to fully explain this expansive topic in one brief look, but we can get a general understanding that we can apply to our lives and build from.

There are three Greek words that are translated into the word love in the English language: agape, philia, and eros. The word eros is sexual affection and the Bible never refers to this as love. Philia is warm affection or a friendship type of love. Agape is self-giving, self-sacrificing, outward focused love. When the Bible commands us to love, it is almost always agape.

The Source of Love

One important thing to understand is that mankind cannot produce agape love. Agape is the love of God and it comes from God alone. The Bible also tells us that righteousness comes from God and is credited to our account by Jesus’ exchange for our sins on the cross[1]. The Bible also tells us that the fruit of the Spirit is not what we produce, but what God produces, and that includes love[2]. Works are produced by Christ through us[3] and all our righteous acts are rejected by God[4]. Only the Spirit can produce the things of the Spirit. Look at these two passages:

John 3:6 "That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.

John 6:63a "It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh profits nothing.

Agape is of the Spirit and can only be given to us through the Spirit. All other forms of love are by the flesh and are natural to man. They can appear selfless, but in truth it remains rooted in our selfish desires even if those desires are suppressed. I have a deep love for my kids that can appear close to agape, but the truth is that I love them because they are mine. When I am displeased with my children I can still act according to my self interest. My sacrifice is still based on self interest. When people do selfless acts, is it truly selfless? Charitable acts make me feel good about myself and make me look good to others. Am I willing to love someone who hates me and rejects my charity? Can I love and seek the good of my enemies by mere effort of the human will when I know it will cost me and I will not benefit from my sacrifice? It is not likely. The truth is that agape love comes from the Lord and cannot be produced through the flesh. Look at Romans 5:

⁵ And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.

The phrase ‘shed abroad’ is the Greek word ‘ekcheo’ (pronounced ek-kheh'-o), which means to pour out or distribute in large quantities. If we have been born into the Spirit, the Holy Spirit pours out the love of God into our hearts, and gives us the power to love others as we abide in the love of God. The love of God is the evidence that the Holy Spirit is working in our hearts. Look at this passage that most will find familiar in John 13:

³⁵ By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.

Why did Jesus state that this would be the evidence that shows we are His disciples? The reason is that this fruit of the Spirit can only come through the Spirit. It is a supernatural love that baffles the world. This is also why the Bible says that those who say they love God but do not love one of their brethren is a liar[5]. Even if our brother displeases us, we still abide in the love of God and this directs our actions as it removes us from the natural human reaction to retaliate. It is not possible to abide in the love of God without loving our brethren, for the love of God flows into our lives and out in our actions. It is not merely human will, but the work of the Spirit that cannot be mimicked for long by human effort. If the love of God is not within, the expressions of His love will not show without. Look at John 5:

⁴² But I know you, that ye have not the love of God in you.

This passage is easily overlooked but it indeed speaks volumes. In this passage, the Pharisees and others are confronting Jesus for healing on the Sabbath. They could not grasp the things of the Spirit for all spiritual fruit finds its source in the love of God. Since those who opposed Jesus did not have the love of God in them, they could not understand the truths of God. They grew increasingly more frustrated when Jesus began to teach things they could not understand without the Holy Spirit. In fact, the deeper meanings of Jesus’ teaching escaped the apostles until after His resurrection when the Holy Spirit was given[6]. The love of God must be in us for our love is inadequate for the things that pertain to true righteousness. Take note of how often the Bible calls us to love and then points to the fact that it has been given or we must abide in it. Love is not a light hidden somewhere in the heart of man that must be revealed; love must first be poured out upon us, and in our hearts by the Spirit of God.

How do we abide in God’s love?

Once the love of God is given to us by the Holy Spirit, we are then called to abide in the love of God, and we abide in the love of God by following the instructions given to us by Christ. Let’s explore how we abide in God’s love by first looking at John 15:9-12

⁹ As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love.

¹⁰ If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father's commandments, and abide in his love.

¹¹ These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full.

¹² This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.

Jesus is not instructing His disciples to bask in a warm, fuzzy, emotional feeling, for this would not require instruction at all. There is a firm commandment given – continue in My love. We are to continue in the love that comes from the Father. Philippians 2 tells us that Jesus existed in the form of God but made Himself of no reputation, humbled Himself by veiling Himself and coming in the form of a bondservant. The Bible tells us that part of His mission to man was to suffer in all ways like us and experience our temptations so that He could be our faithful high priest and show us the example for us to imitate. So Christ has made Himself dependent upon the love of God that He now imparts to us. The example is that we must abide in His love just as He abides in the love of the Father. Also look at John 14:21-24

²¹ He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him.

²² Judas saith unto him, not Iscariot, Lord, how is it that thou wilt manifest thyself unto us, and not unto the world?

²³ Jesus answered and said unto him, If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him.

²⁴ He that loveth me not keepeth not my sayings: and the word which ye hear is not mine, but the Father's which sent me.

So we can see that the love of God comes through the word and we abide in that love through our obedience to the commandments given through the word. When we keep ourselves in the word of God, we keep ourselves in the love of God. Through this, His joy remains in us and our joy is fulfilled. Like a father who takes joy in an honorable child, the Lord is joyful in us when we remain faithful to Him. God takes joy in our obedience to His word and we find fullness of joy when we see the promises of God in the word and find our confidence in God through the word. You can never have true confidence until your confidence comes from God.

There is nothing more fulfilling than to know that you are walking in the will of God. Through this relationship you will find an unshakable confidence that is unattainable in the natural mind. When your confidence is in the Lord, you will be unmovable and unshakeable for everything in your life will have the assurance that God is directing your steps, guarding your life, and working to bring you into perfection. It is ironic, but just as the Bible tells us that we must lay down our lives to find it, it is also true that when we realize that we are nothing in ourselves, we find our true identity in Christ.

People spend their whole lives trying to find themselves and convince their hearts to feel good about their self-identity. Some of the most successful people testify that they have little self-confidence. Even those who project confidence are usually projecting a front, and behind the mask is an insecure person. Many churches and motivational speakers make fortunes out of self-esteem books, speeches, and feel good messages; however, the feelings are soon lost as the nagging confidence issue arises again. Have you ever noticed that people keep seeking motivation and affirmation? The quest never ends because the need has not been met. Consider these two passages:

Proverbs 14:26 In the fear of the LORD is strong confidence: and his children shall have a place of refuge.

Psalm 27:1-3 The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

² When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell.

³ Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident.

If the Lord is your confidence, fear is dispelled and assurance and joy are established. The Bible tells us that perfect love casts out all fear[7] and the joy of the Lord is our strength[8]. All these things paint a complete picture that the love of God is the key to walking in victory and His love is established through the word. As we keep the word, we remain in His love, He takes joy in our lives, and our joy is fulfilled in Him. We abide in the love of God through an abiding relationship with Christ. This requires receiving the word and walking in obedience.

None of the spiritual things of our faith can be found outside of abiding in Christ. Jesus made it clear that unless we abide in Him and He in us, we can do nothing[9]. This includes walking in faith, doing good works, and abiding in love. Love is not something you receive and then take away from God; love is something that we experience, possess, and express to others through our lives as we abide in our consistent walk with Him. We are always in God’s presence if we are walking by faith as we keep His commandments. Love is an indicator of our spiritual walk. If we are close to the Lord, love cannot keep from emerging in our lives; however, if we are acting contrary to love, this reveals the fact that we are not maturing in the faith or that we have begun to drift from the Lord. Let’s take a moment and look at how the Bible defines love and its evidences. Look at 1 Corinthians 13:1-8

¹ Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.

² And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.

³ And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.

⁴ Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

⁵ Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

⁶ Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

⁷ Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

⁸ Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.

Let us consider these things for a moment. In Matthew 7, Jesus said that on the last day, many will come before Him proclaiming their good works, but He will call them lawless workers of iniquity and tell them to depart from Him. The works they proclaim are the very works that the scriptures command us to do, but they count for nothing if it does not come through the Spirit. Love is the fruit of the Spirit and it produces good works in our lives. Human effort means nothing; it is the love God pours out in our hearts as He expresses His love to those around us that matters. In the passage above, we are told that if we give all our possessions away to feed the poor, speak wonderful words, and even give our body as a sacrifice, it means nothing unless it comes by charity – agape – the love of God. Even the world’s greatest faith means nothing if we are not abiding in the love of God.

How easy it is to justify our selfishness and pet sins, but the truth is that these things cannot coexist with the love of God. Even if I believe, have sound doctrine, and do good works, if I do not abide in the love of God, my life and works have no eternal value. This is a hard realization for I struggle to abide when I desire something that calls me outside of the will of God. My actions reveal my heart. My actions do not produce love; they reveal whether I am abiding in love. Obedience does not produce righteousness; it keeps me in God’s righteousness. Love does not seek its own, is not puffed up with pride, does not envy, does not parade around to exalt ourselves, is not rude, does not provoke, thinks no evil, and does not rejoice in sin. Any of these things in my life alert me to the fact that I am stepping outside of love and outside of my abiding relationship with God.

The evidence that we are abiding in love is that we are long in patience, are kind, rejoice in the truth of the word, bear all things, endure all things, and focus on hope. We don’t produce these things; God produces these in our lives through His love. This passage tells us that those who abide in agape rejoice in truth while not parading ourselves or reacting with harsh words. It is possible to have all knowledge of the scriptures and doctrine but not having love so that it profits nothing. Knowledge puffs up unless it is edified by love. Love does indeed confront error for love seeks the good of another. If we love someone, we confront with a spirit of gentleness and reconciliation, considering ourselves knowing that we also could fall into temptation[10].

We must realize that love isn’t just warm affection, but seeking the good of others even if it costs us. We rejoice in the truth as we seek to bring others into the truth. Rebuke is an act of kindness if it is through love. Even with a spirit of gentleness we may be accused of being judgmental, but love hopes in the truth and is willing to endure all things – including rejection. There are those who use the word as a sledgehammer to crush those they believe are in error, and there are those who present the truth as though God were pleading through them to be reconciled to God[11]. It is difficult to maintain a spirit of gentleness, for if we confront others while we are puffed up with knowledge, words become bitter and criticism is harsh. I have seen many Christians label fellow believers as evil in order to justify attacking them, but love never justifies destructive actions. We are told to love our brethren, neighbors, and enemies.

Love Your Enemies

There is a common misconception among Christians that love only applies to the brethren, but it equally applies to our neighbor and even our enemies. Perhaps we know this but skim past it without thinking. When church war erupts between two people or groups of people, the command to love is completely forgotten. There is a tendency among some to label their opponent as an enemy of God and then they feel justified for attacking ‘God’s enemy’. The truth is that we are commanded to love and leave all vengeance up to God alone. We are commanded not to avenge ourselves, but this equally applies to avenging on God’s behalf. Consider what Jesus taught in Matthew 5:43-48

⁴³ Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.

⁴⁴ But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

⁴⁵ That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.

⁴⁶ For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?

⁴⁷ And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?

⁴⁸ Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.

This is easily said, but hard to do. You may hear someone say something like, “I love John Doe”, while assaulting them with backbiting words or taking action that shows anything but love. To love means to seek the good of another person even at our own expense. Anyone can love their friends, and there is no reward in loving those who return love to us. The true test of love is to seek the good of an enemy or doing good to someone who cannot or will not repay your good. According to Jesus, this is where we find our reward and this is pleasing in God’s sight. Perfection is by love and as we abide in the love of God, we are perfected in His Spirit. Jesus ties love directly to perfection. It is not possible to love our enemies by human effort, for even if we are passive in our actions, human nature harbors bitterness in our hearts. Love overcomes, forgets wrongs, and seeks the good of others.

Loving others is not easily done, even by those who are trying to walk in the Spirit. Abiding in God’s love means that we do not allow ourselves to be drawn into the natural responses of the flesh. We may have to sort through our feelings and surrender them as we seek strength from the Lord. I have been in this situation before and know that it is very difficult. Each time I gained the mastery over my feelings, my enemy would launch another attack and all the emotions would emerge again. It was hard to keep forgiving blatant, unprovoked injustices; however, this is what God commands of us.

It is never easy to forgive and love those who despitefully use or persecute us, but it is required. Unless we forgive, we cannot abide in the love of God. Many people allow bitterness to rob them of the love of God. When we realize the value of walking close to the Lord, we will understand why forgiveness is so important. When personal justice is more important than the love of God, we will lose the ability to forgive, for then the focus is on the flesh and not the Spirit. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God[12]. Jesus explains this also in Mark 11:25-26

²⁵ "And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses.

²⁶ "But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses."

This is one of the main reasons that the members of the church remain carnally minded and never come to maturity in the faith. Until you are willing to forgive from the heart anyone who has transgressed you, that unforgiveness will remain as a barrier between you and the Lord and prevent you from growing spiritually. When you cease from growing, you also begin to slip backward in maturity. Once you reject instruction, you step outside of your spiritual walk and then the flesh begins to creep back into your life.

Sin is always a challenge in the Christian walk, but as we depart from the instructions of the Lord, iniquity begins to reign and then affects you and those around you. This is one of the signs of the last days. Look at Matthew 24:11-14

¹¹ And many false prophets shall rise, and shall deceive many.

¹² And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold.

¹³ But he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved.

¹⁴ And this gospel of the kingdom shall be preached in all the world for a witness unto all nations; and then shall the end come.

False prophets are one of the catalysts for the departure from the love of God because they teach a self-centered gospel. Jesus said that no one can be His disciple unless they are willing to deny themselves[13]. Ultimately, forgiveness is a denial of self. In Jesus’ model prayer in Luke 11:4, He stated that we forgive those who are indebted to us by sin. When we are wronged, we feel that person owes us retribution. We may feel like it should come in the form of an apology, or we may feel like retaliation is due. Forgiveness is denying ourselves of what we feel is owed to us and we then extend mercy to someone that may or may not deserve it. Even if that person does not accept our forgiveness, it releases us from the grip of the flesh and frees us to draw near to the Lord. We cannot take the hand of the Lord while we are holding the bags of debt owed by our adversaries.

In the last days, the focus is no longer on the love of God and seeking first His kingdom and righteousness; the focus is on personal gain and benefit. As false teachers present a selfish gospel, the love of many will grow cold. Even today, the church is not striving to stay in the love of God as Jesus commanded; the church is looking for what makes us feel good or makes us happy. The spiritual things have been exchanged for the things that satisfy the flesh alone. Often the flesh masquerades as something spiritual, but the fact that self is the focus reveals that false teaching and false worship is of the flesh.

Love first comes from God. The scripture says that we love God because He first loved us[14]. The Lord pours out His love in our hearts, gives us everything we need that pertain to life and godliness[15], and then instructs us to keep ourselves in the love of God. We keep ourselves in the love of God by knowing and keeping His word, by letting the love of God rule in our hearts, and by casting down every thought and imagination that exalts itself against that love of God[16]. Love God and love people and you will fulfill the commandments of God, and abide in His love.

Eddie Snipes

Exchanged Life Outreach

http://www.exchangedlife.com

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